A great discovery
Recently scientists made an amazing discovery while doing some research on how to make better french fries. They noticed that some of the potatoes had taken the form of humanlike creatures. Jack N. Erdbahn, head scientist of the "How To Make French Fries Even Tastier While Keeping The Fat Percent Low And Not Destroying The Original Potato Flavour" research group, explains:
"It was a schockingly schocking schock. When I looked at Research Potato No. 542109, it looked back at me! Really! Then I tried talking to it, but it didn't answer. It's odd. I was sure it wanted to tell me something."
Subsequently the research group ordered 1,000,000 potatoes from all over the world. 30 people used 1 month to examine all potatoes, and in the end only a few potatoes qualified as "humanatoes", a new term meaning "humanlike potatoes", invented by peeler Pedro P. E. Elertos after having peeled his 653rd potato.
Later in a press release, Erdbahn stated that having found a few incredibly manlike potatoes was a great discovery for humanity, and that it would help scientists all over the world understand evolution better.
The potatoes which didn't qualify as humanatoes are now being used as practice potatoes for chef students. "Obviously they [the potatoes] can't be eaten, but they serve as good practice for my students" chef Bill C. Ookland states.
Minister laughs at humanatoes
When Minister Goodwill of the Catholic Church "Jesus loves you! Church" was confronted with a picture of a humanato, he thought it was a joke. "You know, this was almost as funny as when.. What was his name.. Darnwine..? suggested that humans were once apes. Oh, and those people who claim the Earth isn't flat.. Just how stupid are you allowed to be?" the minister explains, clearly having drunk too much of the altar wine.
A gallery with the most humanlike humanato, named "Potato Bob" after Bob Potato, team manager, can be found below. All photos are copyright © The Potato Research group (but the group have licensed them under CC-BY-SA).
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